Navigating back to school: a series for parents/caregivers

By Caitlyn Mitros, M.S.

The summer days are still long, hot, and full of activity—but there’s no denying that familiar feeling creeping in… back-to-school season is right around the corner.

For many parents, this time of year brings mixed emotions. On one hand, there’s the promise of returning to routines, a bit more structure, and (let’s be honest) a little breathing room after a busy summer of vacations, camps, and constant schedule juggling. On the other hand, it’s completely normal to feel a little anxious or overwhelmed about what’s ahead—school supply lists, adjusting sleep schedules, and managing new classroom expectations.

Whether you’re a seasoned parent or sending your child to school for the very first time, feeling fully prepared can go a long way in easing the transition for both you and your kids. That’s why I’ve created a parent series to dive deeper into understanding and recognizing the challenges of transitional periods, as well as to explore skills, strategies, and additional support for the back-to-school season.

Part 1: making sense of why back-to-school feels like a big deal

Nervous System 101

Ever notice how your heart races before a big meeting/presentation? Or how you feel totally relaxed after a cozy meal or watching your favorite comfort movie? Me too. That’s your nervous system at work. When we talk about the nervous system, we can’t skip over the two key players: the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) branches of the nervous systems. These systems help us respond to stress and maintain balance.

Why Change Feels So Big…

A simple way to think about it is this: the sympathetic nervous system acts like a gas pedal. When we perceive a threat, danger, or stress—even if it’s not life-threatening—it sends a surge of energy through the body so we can react quickly. This results in increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, reduced digestion, and quicker breaths. That can be useful… say, if we’re suddenly facing White Walkers at Winterfell (for all my Game of Thrones Fans). But in everyday situations—like managing your own emotions and helping your kids transition smoothly back to school—this stress response can actually work against you. It makes self-regulation more difficult and can turn everyday challenges into overwhelming ones.

So… what are some signs that you may be dysregulated?

• Intense emotional reactions 
• Feeling easily irritated or triggered
• Persistent worry or racing thoughts
• Chronic fatigue/exhaustion
• Sleep disturbances (difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep)
• Difficulty concentrating or brain fog
• Constant headaches
• Digestive issues (discomfort, excessive bloating, IBS) 
• Jaw tension/grinding of the teeth 
• Sudden heart palpitations/increased rapid heartbeat
• Heightened sensory sensitivities
• Autoimmune disorders: Increase flare ups/colds                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

This is not an exhaustive list, as we all may experience dysregulation in our own way. These are just some of the key points to look out for if you are experiencing intense stress during transitional periods.

Recognizing the Ripple: How Our Dysregulation Affects Our Kids

Now that we’ve explored what emotional dysregulation looks like for parents, it’s important to consider how it can impact your kids. Children are deeply attuned to the emotional tone of their environment. When you’re a kid, your universe is small — and you are the sun. So even when a parent’s stress has nothing to do with the child, the child may still feel responsible. 

“Parent’s are upset — it must be my fault.”

That’s not a sign of failure. It’s normal development. Kids naturally center themselves in their world. Understanding this helps us hold two truths:

• Our emotions can impact our kids.
• And it’s not our fault they take it personally.

It’s just a sign they’re still learning how the world works — and that we can help guide them through it.

This often leads to struggles with self-esteem, emotional regulation, and everyday tasks like focusing in school or getting along with others. Just like us, children can become overwhelmed when they don’t feel secure enough to regulate their feelings. When children don’t feel emotionally or physically safe, their nervous system shifts into protection mode. In that state, things like learning, cooperating, or building confidence become much harder — not because they don’t care, but because their system is focused on survival.

What we often notice on the outside — defiance, distraction, big emotions — is usually a clue to what’s happening underneath:
a child asking, “Am I safe? Am I okay? Do I still matter right now?”

Reading the Cues: How Children Show They’re Dysregulated

• Severe tantrums 
• Low ability to handle frustration 
• Difficulty identifying or expressing emotions
• Increased aggression toward objects, animals or people 
• Difficulty calming down 
• Intense reactions to transitions 
• Frequent stomach aches 
• Frequent headaches 
• Fatigue or sleep disturbances 
• Extreme changes in eating habits 
• Challenging to manage friendships 
• Feeling overwhelmed or anxious 
• Easily bored or irritated 

**Please note: Neurodivergent children, including those with ADHD or Autism, often experience emotions intensely or uniquely. Providing compassionate, individualized support can help them navigate and develop effective strategies for emotional regulation.

Where Do We Go From Here?

The good news? Regulation is something you can model. When you learn to name your feelings, calm your nervous system, and repair after tough moments, you teach your children to do the same—building resilience, connection, self-compassion, and emotional strength along the way.

Come back for Part 2 of this parent series on navigating the rocky waters of back-to-school season. I’ll be sharing practical, manageable strategies for emotional regulation — not just for your children, but for you as well. We’ll explore how co-regulation—the process of calming and connecting with your child through your own regulated presence—can be one of the most powerful tools in building emotional resilience and connection during times of transition.