Rage Painting: What Happens When You Stop Trying to Manage Your Emotions and Start Honoring Them

By Kanjana Hartshorne, LCSW, C-IAYT, CCFP, Reiki Master

There’s a hierarchy we’ve all internalized. Calm is at the top. Joy is welcome. But anger? Grief? Overwhelm? Those get pushed down, managed, medicated away. We’re taught that if we feel rage, something is wrong with us.

As a therapist, I’ve noticed this pattern in so many clients who walk through my door. People struggle to tap into emotions that aren’t positive or happy. And sometimes, we therapists perpetuate this ourselves. We make calm queen or king. We teach our clients to breathe it down, stay composed, manage the big feelings.

But what if we stopped trying to manage rage and started honoring it instead?

The Problem with Suppression

Suppressed rage doesn’t disappear. It gets stored in our bodies, our nervous systems, our relationships. It shows up as burnout, resentment, chronic pain, disconnection. It whispers that something is wrong with us when really, something is wrong with a world that tells women, nonbinary folks, and caregivers that their anger isn’t welcome.

All emotions are welcome. They’re there for a reason. We wouldn’t have them if we didn’t need them.

What Changed When I Tried Rage Painting

I recently did something I’d never done before: rage painting in the woods with a colleague. We brought canvas, paint, music, and permission to be messy. No rules. No right or wrong. Just expression.

What I experienced was profound. I felt lighter. I felt like I’d accessed a younger version of myself through nostalgic music- the part that gets to be silly, yell, be goofy, have fun, and feel emotions fully. The part that doesn’t apologize for taking up space.

My colleague described it the same way: “I absolutely needed that. It takes you back to your younger self where you get to be silly and yell and be goofy and just have fun.”

Why Use Painting To Express Rage and Other Big Feelings?

I bring art into my therapy room all the time because it’s powerful for perfectionism. Many of the people I work with are recovering perfectionists (myself included). Art gives us permission to be messy from the start. I encourage clients to make something ugly, to put a line on the canvas that doesn’t belong, and then- there’s your freedom. You can make whatever you’d like. It’s already not perfect, so it feels less intimidating to play.

Painting bypasses the part of our brain that judges. It lets the body speak what words cannot. When you’re throwing paint, you’re not thinking about whether it’s “good.” You’re just expressing. You’re just being.

The Nervous System Reset

But here’s what makes this different from just venting: after the expression comes clarity. You sit with what you created, what you expressed, and you ask: what was my rage trying to tell me? What wisdom do my feelings hold? What does my body need? How do I move forward?

Then comes the integration. After screaming in the woods and throwing paint, we move into nervous system regulation. Sauna. Cold contrast. Reiki guided meditation. This is where the real healing happens. Your body gets to process the big emotion and then come back to baseline. You’re not left in a heightened state. You’re integrated.

Permission, Not Pressure

One of the most important things I want people to know: there’s no pressure to perform. You don’t have to scream if screaming doesn’t feel authentic. Some people scream. Some sing. Some dance. Some stand in silence. The retreat is about honoring your own pace and capacity.

My colleague came in thinking she wasn’t creative. “I can’t dance. I don’t have musical talent. I’m not a painter.” But in a space with no pressure and no judgment, she found her own expression. She found freedom.

That’s what I want for you too. Permission to feel your feelings. Permission to express them. Permission to learn from them.

The Rage Retreat

I’m hosting two Rage & Clarity retreats this spring. Both retreats include screaming in the woods, throwing paint, Reiki guided meditation, sauna and cold contrast, and a clarity plan session where we process what you learned and how you want to move forward.

April 10

for women and nonbinary folks navigating systemic injustice, collective grief, and mom rage and/or the rage that comes with paying attention to the world.

April 26

for therapists and wellness professionals who want to explore this practice together and dive deeper with other healers.

What You’ll Leave With

I want you to leave feeling like you have permission to feel your feelings. That it’s okay. That you can find places where you can feel them, express them, and learn from them. That feelings don’t have to be scary. That you can have a safe container. That you won’t be alone. And that community can make such a difference. 

Your anger has meant pain, AND it has also meant survival. Before you give it up, make sure there’s something at least as powerful to replace it on the road to clarity.